(NOTE: I have been typing this entry for about a week now, so some references may be time lapsed...)
--Well it is hard to beleive that we are at that time again. WrestleMania 21. It seems like, well it was one year ago where I was promoting and praising WrestleMania 20. I have a lot of stuff on my mind that I cannot seem to break, so I was hoping doing this entry a little bit early would help me shake things off a bit.
It is March 28th, and I am giving up on 2005. Each and every year, I swear to myself that this will be the best year, until god takes an Enema-assisted dump all over it. So to 2005, I give to you, my white towel...
We are just DAYS away from the grandest event of the year. The biggest spectacle that professional wrestling has to offer. We are just DAYS away from WrestleMania taking over Hollywood. Ladies and Gentlemen---we are just DAYS away from WrestleMania 21. And I, for one, cannot wait.
WrestleMania almost serves as the WWE's "end of the year," it's "January" WrestleMania is the event where most angles wrap up, new faces debut, and fresh new rivarlies commence with the assistance of the post-WrestleMania draft the next night on WWE programming. This year should prove to be no different. Let's get on with the event card:
Big show vs Akebono *SUMO MATCH*
This is definitly the nights novelty match, if you want to call it that. I expect nothing more than, well, nothing more than a Randy Orton vs Edge match. This match is being billed as a Sumo Match, and also Wrestlemania's LARGEST POUND FOR POUND MATCH. The fact is...these two men are fat. Alright, we are getting off key here. I do not know who to pick? Do I pick Big Show, because he is with WWE? Or do I pick Akebono because he actually is a Sumo Wrestler? I want to call this match a draw somehow, so I will. Both men will Sumo it out until a draw.
RD's Prediction: Draw
Match Rating: 2 stars out of 5
Future Angles: None, except Big Show perhaps getting 'recognition' for fighting it out with Japan's biggest Sumo wrestler.
Match Order:
Interesting WrestleMania Fact: I attended Wrestlemania 18 with Big P and Company, in Toronto, Canada. Prior to the event, Big P and RD got lost in the underground mall which seemed like an eternity. Man, what a great time. March 17th...where were you?
WrestleMania Recall: Pete Rose, in a chicken suit, gets tombstoned by Kane.
RD Fact: The WrestleMania trailer involving Eugene and William Regal, spoofing "Forrest Gump" is his least favorite trailer out of all of them.
First time ever, THE CO-HOLDERS OF THE TAG TEAM TITLES COMPETE!
So for the first time ever in Wrestlemania history, the current Tag Team Champions will square off in the ring in front of millions to battle it out for...well, for nothing, except awesome compeition. Eddie Guerrero has never had a bad match, at least in my eyes. The same can be said for Mysterio. So what do you get if you add these two men in the ring at WRESTLEMANIA 21? These men will not dissapoint, and I can promise you that. This match will most likley steal the show right up until HBK and Angle square off, but that is what this match needs to be. This match has awesome potential to be one of the best...ever in 'Mania' History, but will it live up to its small, but effective hype? I think this match should have been made weeks ago, instead of just this past week. I am waiting for this one though, so it has at least done its job by that regard.
RD's Prediction: Eddie Guerrero by "Lieing, Cheating, and Stealing"
Match Rating: 4.5 stars out of 5
Future Angles: Smackdown! may play this up to a rematch, which I strongly see happening at the next PPV for Smackdown! I do not see any of these two men going heel though. The rematch may happen again just 'for the sake of compeition.'
Match Order:
PLAYBOY COVERGIRL ATTEMPTS TO CONQUER MT. STRATUS
Playboy covergirl vs one of the greatest women's champions of all time in WWE History. I will stand by the following statement that I am abhout to make. I am extremely dissapointed that WWE has chosen Christy as competition for Trish. Why not Molly Holly? Why not Victoria? Why not Victoria and Molly? But most importantly, Why Christy? Lita, current SlutBagWhore, will be in the corner of Christy, so there is no telling what will happen. I, unfortunately do not see Trish retaining the title, and I do not know why. I cannot stand to think that. Things should be different in this Womens Title match...Get Christy Out, and Put In Some Credible Women Wrestlers. And if I am wrong, and this match turns out to be entertaining, I will make a public apology and support Christy Hemme.
RD's Prediction: Christy Hemme, New Womens Champion
Match Rating: 1.5 out of 5
Future Angles: Trish vs Christy rematch, Trish vs Lita/Christy, Trish vs Lita
Match Order:
Interesting Wrestlemania Fact: I ordered Wrestlemania 17, whicih emnated live from Houston, Texas. That night, my cable went out and I could not see the event. I cried the whole night.
Wrestlemania Recall: Shane McMahon goes 'coast-to-coast' on Vince McMahon, atop a trash can.
RD Fact: I have about a two year strecth of every WWE Program, including the weekly RAW and Smackdown! on VHS format.
LEGEND VS LEGEND KILLER
Randy Orton vs Undertaker
--This match is being billed as a "Legend vs Legend Killer," a bill that we have not seen as of late since Randy O. made that face turn. This is the very first WrestleMania where I do not know who will win this match, or any others. That is a good sign, I would suppose...this year definitly has the element of "ANYTHING CAN AND WILL HAPPEN COME SUNDAY NIGHT." I sincerely hope that Randy O. does NOT win this match, for the most obvious reasons.
Reason Why Randy Orton Should Not Walk out Victorious at WrestleMania
1) He is all image and no wrestling.
2) He thinks he is better than he truly is.
3) Orton doesn't need a win from the Undertaker to be a "great" heel.
Reasons Why Undertaker Needs Another Wrestlemania Win
1) When he eventually retires, his Wrestlemania legacy will not look as good at 12-1, versus a clean, 13-0.
2) Undertaker is ruthless. Orton is walking into Wrestlemania with the upperhand.
3) It seems like the world is behind Undertaker.
RD's Prediction: The Undertaker
Future Angles: Undertaker gets drafted to RAW to continue his feud with Randy Orton, setting up a rematch at SummerSlam or possibly earlier in a series of matches, including Buried Alive, Hell in a Cell, and an inferno match.
Match Rating: 3 stars out of 5
The best of the best: WrestleMania Trailers
8) Dirty Harry
7) Pulp Fiction
6) Forrest Gump
5) Braveheart
4) Basic Instinct
3) A Few Good Men
2) When Harry Met Sally
1) TAXI DRIVER
Wrestlemania Recall: Undertaker goes 10 and 0 against Ric Flair at Wrestlemania 18.
RD Fact: WrestleMania is my favorite WWE Event of all time. Coming in second place, WWE Royal Rumble, then WWE Summerslam in a distant third.
STREET THUG VERSUS WALL STREET
John Cena vs JBL *WWE Championship*
--Never have I been more dissapointed in John Cena. And never have I been more impressed in JBL. Love him or hate him, JBL has carried on being a pretty damn great WWE Champion, especially when nobody else stepped up to the plate. Before I make my prediction, let me just voice something. John Cena had me at hello. And I mean that in the most un-gay way possible. I loved John Cena before he was John Cena. When he was "a somebody McNothing" in bright pink and neon green tights, I liked him. He moved away from his "regular guy" character and became this thug, this rapper. I still loved him. Now? I have never been more dissapointed in him. He has not improved inside the ring since he felt that he had to be this "corny, cliched, rap superstar." Put John Cena in a gimmick of "badass." Rip on the heels and the faces. Attack anybody who gets in his way. And above all else, John, get the job done! Cena has a lot of work to do before he ever becomes Champion, and if he does become Champion tomorrow night, I am afraid that that would be the end of Cena. Three Cheers for JBL!
RD's prediction: AND STILL WWE CHAMPION, JBL!
Future Angles: Cena vs JBL rematch at next PPV in a street fight
Match Rating: 3.75 out of 5 stars
MAKE THAT DEPOSIT WITH CHARTER ONE
Money in the Bank Ladder Match
--Finnnaaalllyyyy---a gimmick match has returned to...WRESTLEMANIA!! Christian! Benoit! Edge! Benjamin! Kane! Jericho!!!!! What a match this will be. This will be my favorite match of the night, I just know it. I am wanting to see Wrestlemania FOR THIS MATCH, baby! I, once again, am undecided on a real winner, but I have two guys that I want to see at the top after this match Sunday night. This is Wrestlemania, the grandest stage of them all. These are six of the top wrestlers on RAW...and this folks, is a Ladder Match---expect anything and everything! When you have 5 guys with true passion and heart, and one guy named Edge..and put them together at wrestlemania...5 guys will do great, and Edge will suck the big one.
RD's Prediction: Christian or Chris Jericho
Future Angles: Christian promotes the hell out of himself on how he will be next Champion
Match Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
RD Fact: I use to wet the bed, up until last night. (just joking about the last night part...lol)
WWE Hall of Fame Introduction
--Like last year, I am hoping Vince McMahon or somebody will come out and introduce the Hall of Famers to the crowd. Maybe this will get Hogan out there and do something. Anyway you slice it, the H-O-Fers will be honored, but whether or not Hogan will do something about it is remained to be seen.
RD's Prediction: Hogan gets the biggest pop the night, which feeds into his over-sized ego already.
Pipers Pit featuring Stone Cold Steve Austin
--Ahh, the return of the RattleSnake! The return of Stone Cold Steve Austin!!!!!!! I hope he doesnt fuck this time up again...This segment should be off the hook, and definitly worth the price of Wrestlemania itself. There is nothing to predict here, really. The segment should be fun, and be a nice break from the wrestling show.
RD's Prediction: Austin delivers stunners all around. Stunner to some wrestler who interferes during Austin's speech, and a stunner to The Hot Rod for good measure.
Who should sing the National Anthem? They are talking about Brooke Hogan singing, which I do not want to see. Why not bring in Kelly Clarkson? Or somebody else? Bring Lilian Garcia onto the card to sing "America The Beautiful," and somebody else for the Patriotic Anthem. Besides, TOMORROW NIGHT IS HOLLYWOOD...THE A-LIST, B-LIST, AND C-LIST CELEBS WILL BE ALL ONE ALIKE...
RD's raises questions about Wrestlemania 21:
Where is Rene Dupree?
Where is the Cruiserweight Championship match?
Where are the TWO TAG TEAM TITLE MATCHES?
Where are Victoria and Molly Holly and Miss Jackie?
Where is Rene Dupree?
What ever happened to Snitsky and Heidenreich?
What about Booker T?
Why Christy Hemme? Because they spent 250,000 on her red-headed ass?
WHERE IS RENE DUPREE?
Why wasnt Vince McMahon in a "Mania-spoof" trailer?
RAW VS SMACKDOWN!
HBK vs Angle
--I shouldn't take anything away from this match with my amateur writing, so I will let these two guys tell the story. A story of two rivals. A story of two great performers. A story of two men collidings at the biggest spectacle in history. Wait a minute, aren't I telling a story now?
RD's Prediction: Kurt Angle
Future Angles: REMATCH, after HBk gets drafted to Smackdown!
THE GAME TRIES TO MUZZLE THE ANIMAL
Batista vs Triple H
--Batista, hands down. I want HHH to win, thrusting a Brock Lesnar return, but I do not beleive that will happen...HAIL TO THE MAN-BEAST!
RD'S PREDICTION: THE ANIMAL, BATISTA
FUTURE ANGLES: REMATCH
MATCH RATING: 4 OUT OF 5 STARS
I apologize for rushing the last two matches. I have had the most exhausting day of my life, and I really want it to end---blahh....Take Care all!
Stay Cool
-RD-
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